I’m not really as angry today as I was yesterday. Just trying to get my bearings I guess. It feels like I have to completely reorient my entire being at every new development, no matter how small. Sometimes I wish I was made out of sand. They’d never be able to get me out of the carpet.
Have you ever felt like you were the problem? I usually am. I have a lot of issues that I struggle with. Sometimes I burst into tears because I remembered something painful. Sometimes that happens at times and in places that are inappropriate. It’s probably just in my head. I don’t think that makes it any easier.
This one is kinda sad, so I want to steer it toward a happier ending. Making things makes me happy, even if I don’t do it very often. I’m my own worst enemy. This isn’t going in a positive direction. Pivot to progress. I took down everything related to Mountain Empire Games. I’m tired of trying to be bigger than I am. I’m also tired of having to rely on people that are operating at I different frequency than myself. Around here, having a pulse and liking games is enough to qualify you for a spot on a development team. My advice for literally anyone? Develop a skill. People will like you better.
I’m sorry if this is a confusing mess, but I’m not fixing it. I have the feeling that many of these musings are going to play out this way. Praise be. I’m not religious. Find me on Patreon.